Second Verse
by fairystail
Summary: ...Nothing like the first. So I died, got reincarnated into One Piece. Deciding to do what everyone else with a sane mind does, I join the Strawhat Pirates and try to make an enemy of everyone we meet. Self-Insert.


So apparently Heaven's (or Hell's, most likely Hell's) waiting room is a lot like the one at my doctor's office. There were those cheap, shitty chairs that are never comfortable. The magazines that are either out of date or just dedicated to something stupid like which celebrity couple is cheating. Basically it was Hell, just like every other waiting room in existence.

Eventually after what felt like an eternity of waiting, the door to the doctor's office opened. _**"Enter"**_ a genderless, emotionless voice called out.

The doctor's office was not what one would expect, first of all it wasn't a doctor's office but what appeared to be a primary school classroom. A white board on the wall, badly done crayon drawing all over the wall, a teacher's desk with an apple on it and one teen, tiny desk and chair which I knew were there for me. Oh and Death was sitting behind the teacher's desk, casually eating the apple.

I looked left, I looked right. I bolted. Well I tried to anyway, apparently the door that I came through decided not to exist anymore, so I ran into the wall.

" _ **That never get's old,"**_ Death giggled. Wait giggles? Huh now that I looked, Death did appear to be a girl. How did a skeleton in full body robes look like a girl? I'm going crazy it would seem. "Fuck me," I sighed, pulling myself up from the floor.

" _ **Buy me dinner and then we'll talk."**_

I opened my mouth. I closed my mouth. I shook my head and decided that no, it would probably not go down well to ask what Death wanted for dinner. "So, uh, what's going on here? In fact where is here?" I decided to ask instead.

" _ **Well to put it simply you are dead, done for, pushing up daisies, kicked the bucket, experiencing what all your family and friends wanted you to experience and you get the idea. Now as to where you are, this is the Souls Relocation Office and I am here to find somewhere to relocate you."**_

"Please be a lesbian sorority house, please be a hot lesbian sorority house, please be a hot lesbian sorority house," I muttered over and over again.

" _ **Yeah not happening,"**_ Death interrupted me. ** _"You get a choice of worlds, though your file suggests that you would either pick Naruto, One Piece or Harry Potter. So what's it gonna be?"_**

"Wait!? I can be put into One Piece?" I asked in shock, and a lil happiness.

" _ **One Piece it is. Before Gold Roger? During? During Luffy's time? After?"**_

I opened my mouth to respond when Death cut me off, _**"Who am I kidding. During Luffy's time right?. Ok let's see, Name? Hmm you used Fairy S. Tail in that shitty self insert once, let's go with that. You know what, let's just base your entire self after that fanfic of yours. Hmm let's see, occupation, crew position, what you did before joining the Strawhat's, because we both know you will."**_

It took me a few moments to realise that Death was actually waiting for a response this time. "What not gonna decide it for yourself?" I snarked.

" _ **Proffesional sex toy for well endowed male giants it is,"**_ Death muttered.

"Wait!? Please!" I begged at that. No way, no how was I going to ever be known for that. EVER! "Ummm what about a writer?"

Death stared at me blankly for a full minute before giving a loud sigh, _**"Fine. I believe that's everything. Now would you kindly get the ever loving fuck out."**_

Everything went black.

...

My life was an interesting one. Grew up on an island named Cozia, with a loving mother, father and sister. Watched my parents get killed by some warriors as me and my sister hid under the ruins of our old house. Watched as the entirety of our island was destroyed, me and my sister the only life left. I lost my left arm in that attack.

All that was left was me, my sister and what was apparently a family heirloom.

We were eventually picked up by a passing Marine ship and taken to Logue Town, thrown in an orphanage and forgotten about.

I did everything I could to protect my sister, making sure that she got the best I could give her but despite that she was still angry at the world, becoming a criminal. I tried to stop her but to put it simply, I couldn't blame her. The World Government hadn't done anything for us, hadn't even caught the ass holes who had attacked our island.

I on the other hand decided to live a life of adventure and freedom, exploring the nearby islands, finding stories, myths or legends and writing them down, I wasn't an insanely popular author, not by a long shot but it did pay the bills.

Then while trying to write a novel about a corrupt ruler I heard the news of a man named Axe-Hand Morgan, clearly I just needed a little real life inspiration right?

Through out my life I had the strangest feeling as if everything was a dream, as if there was something off as if I needed to wake up. And wake up I did.

To the most horrifying sight imaginable.

...

...

"Anyone who resists will be thrown in the ocean," said the world's ugliest person. Iron Mace Alvida.

"Well fuck," I muttered to myself. Really? Really!? This was what woke me up, what reminded me of everything. It wasn't Luffy or Nami or Zoro or heck even Buggy. No what reminded me of everything about my past life, my death and how this world was an anime one was Iron Mace Alvida. Really!?

I thought about fighting, I mean sure she was strong, intimidating and a pirate captain but she was slow aas hell and not really any of a threat. Problem is however it was standing up to her that finally caused Coby to try and grow a spine. I couldn't take that away from him.

One of the pirates walked up to me, a leer on his face. "Heh aren't you a pretty lil."

I cut him off before he could finish. "Go on say that louder, say it so that everyone in this room, including your captain can hear you. Try to imply that anyone else but her is beautiful. I DARE YOU," I hissed hatefully.

He gulped, suddenly pale as a sheet, just realising what the consequences of such an action could be. I decided to give the guy a lifeline, "or you could continue on as if nothing had ever happened, and I promise I won't say anything."

Needless to say he moved on, completely forgot to even check me for valuables. Not like I had anything of importance on me, but I really did not want to be felt up by a brain dead moron like him.

The pirates stripped the ship of anything of value and Alvida and most of her crew went up to the deck, to move everything over to her ship, only a few pirates stayed below deck to watch over the hostages that were us.

Then someone grabbed one of the women, smacked her husband to the side and I figured enough was enough.

"You know if you continue like that you are really going to regret it," I said, loudly enough for everyone in the ball room to hear.

One of the pirates turned to face me, a cocky smirk on his face, "oh and what are you going to do about it bitch?"

I paused at that, my hand instinctively clenching for something that was not there. Don't lose your cool, come on Fairys don't lose your cool. "I don't know what kind of things that fat whale you call a captain, allows you to get away with but one thing I do know is that she is a woman. And as a woman I wonder what her reaction would be if I cried out rape, at the top of my lungs right here, right now."

The pirate just raised his sword, pointing it at me, "guess i'll just have to cut your tongue out of your pretty lil mouth won't I missy?"

I paused again. Ok that one did it. I was gonna bash this fucker's skull into the floor so hard that there would be an indent of his ugly face. "Counter proposal. I take that sword, ram it through your fucking neck and then kill all of your ugly ass friends as well," I said as sweetly as possible.

He opened his mouth to say something, to laugh, to insult me, threaten me whatever, I don't know and I don't care. He never got to say anything as I flew across the room, crashing into him feet first, stealing the sword from his hand as I did so. Once he had hit the ground, me still standing on top of him I raised the sword and shoved it through his neck, killing him out right.

"Does anyone have anything else to say?" I asked with a glare at the remaining pirates.

They apparently did have something to say, well say isn't technically accurate, more shout and even then it wasn't even words, just more a sort or "Yaaarrrgh" before charging me en masse, all three of them.

They all went down before they could even blink. I may not have been the strongest, I may not have been the most skilled, I may not have been many things but I can guarantee there were very few people on the East Blue who had any hopes of even matching my speed and agility. It didn't matter how strong you were if the other person stabbed you first.

The other people on the boat weren't sure wether to applaud, cower at the one armed person or throw up at the dead bodies. No that person decided, wow she ate a lot of corn for dinner. Huh.

I gave a casual shrug and decided to make my way to the main deck, maybe I would be able to see Luffy in action. Wouldn't that be so awesome!

I reached the main deck just in time to see Luffy send Alvida flying and telling the pirates to grab a boat for him

"Holy shit, she twinkled. I wonder if she is Team Rocket has copyrighted that?" I shrugged probably not the best time to be thinking about that.

Hey look here come the Marines. Probably time to jump ship.

So i did what everyone else would do in that situation, I jumped into the rubber boys tiny dinghy and shouted "go, go, go"

...

"So are you just going to stare at me all day or are you going to say something!" I snap at Coby.

We hadn't been sailing for too long now but had managed to escape the Marines. In that entire time Coby hadn't said anything, just stared at me a small blush on his face.

"I-I-I'm so sorry miss, I-I" I'm sure Coby would have said more but he was interrupted by my foot to his face.

"Let me make one thing clear," I hissed out slowly. "I. AM. A. FUCKING. GUY!"

Luffy laughed at that while Coby apologised a hundred times over, saying I was too beautiful and he was sorry and all of that. Honestly though I couldn't blame him for thinking that I was a girl, it pissed me the hell off sure, but I couldn't blame him.

Standing at just under 5 foot 7 with long, soft pink hair to just below my shoulders, smooth pale skin, an androgynous face, and not much muscle definition, a lot of people thought I was a girl, guess it didn't help that my name was Fairys as well. Also apparently I had a great ass and hardly anyone seemed put off my the fact I only had one arm.

Still I didn't like being called a girl, obviously I could have changed my looks a bit but honestly, it was more effort than I cared to put in, I was too lazy to die my hair or cut it regularly, I was just naturally gorgeous it seemed.

"So um why are you here sir?" Coby asked, flinching a bit as if he expected to be hit again.

I sighed, "look kid, the name is Fairys, As to why I'm here? Well I figured I wanted to be a pirate and joining the Pirate King's crew seemed like the logical choice." I turned to face Luffy, a huge smile on my face, "so what do you say? Permission to join captain?"

Luffy's huge smile was the only answer I needed.

...

...

...

...

So yeah for those who don't know this is gonna be a rewrite of my old fanfic, Next Great Adventure. wasn't too happy with that one and stopped early on, hopefully this will be better. If not well start paying me and then I will start putting out good work.

For those who didn't get it, Fairys looks like Lightning for ff13

now read, review and cower at the Horror that is Alvida's face, all shall cower even the great Cthulu can't help but cower.


End file.
